Saturday, April 24, 2004

I made it until Mom and Dad got here, and now it looks like i'm going to make it to see Michelle Kwan tomorrow. Yay. So happy. Although the feelings of pressure and the braxton-hicks contractions have come back today, i'm hoping they won't amount to anything before tomorrow afternoon. i started having more "pressure surges" as Hypnobabies calls them after we climbed up the old fort at the base of the Golden Gate today, and i inadvertently helped them along a little more by doing a couple of lunges on some old cannon stands up at the top. i was practicing the lunges our childbirth instructor told us we could do to help the baby turn the right way (towards the back) for delivery.

My mom is so happy that she got to see me in full pregnancy, and both my mom and dad got to see and feel the baby moving inside me last night. i was sitting in the glider and she started rocking out the way she does sometimes, very visible through my dress. we even got it on video.

mom unpacked like two suitcases full of baby stuff: things that i received at the showers in wisconsin that i hadn't had room for, and then just as much free samples of everything i will need for the baby -- baby wash, infant diapers, a *FEW* formula samples (i hadn't thought i wanted any around, but then it occured to me that we should have some in case of earthquake. what i was hurt or killed and couldn't feed the baby, and erik couldn't buy formula?), infant wipes, a couple neat little coolers with ice packs for bottles, another, nicer diaper bag, nursing pads, and on and on... we are so lucky. now the problem is just storing all this stuff. our storage room is pretty much full as it is.

mom also brought some of the little knitted and crocheted things that i had as an infant, which she cleaned the old spit-up stains off of with oxy clean. erik and i changed our mind about the MOnkey's coming home outfit. We had picked out a pink cap and booties, with little pink pants, a white t-shirt, and a pink fleece blanket that a friend made her. But mom brought these tiny little "crib shoes" that she bought for the Monkey for Christmas, and we wanted to put those on her. So now we're going with a yellow sweater/jacket that was mine, with a matching bonnet, a paler yellow ducky t-shirt, striped yellow and blue pants, lacy little socks and shoes, a yellow receiving blanket, and a little Winnie the Pooh drool bib. The cutest thing is that for each outfit we have a coordinated burp cloth. The things people have made us for burp clothes are so darling, it's so funny to think they're meant for the baby to vomit on.

Wednesday, April 21, 2004

39-1/2 weeks

Today was my last day of work! I took off a little earlier than planned due to the events I'm about to share. Walking home from the office this afternoon felt so funny, like the first day of summer vacation. Just knowing I don't have to think at all about software, don't have to pay attention to e-mail pitches and check the wires every day, it's just an incredible lightening. The funny thing is, with all of our thoughts surrounding the baby and last minute preparations, I didn't think much about my total emancipation from work lately.
Anyway, this all started Monday when Dr. Kamali gave me an internal exam to check dilation. I had thought about telling her I didn't want one, since they are not supposed to give any indication of when labor will really start. But curiosity got the best of me and I let her go ahead. It hurt a little, like a really bad menstrual cramp, but I relaxed through it and it wasn't so bad. She said I was 1-1/2 centimeters dilated, which I thought was pretty good considering that I have heard of people going to the hospital after hours of labor only to find they were only 1 cm.
She warned that I might have some bloody show after the exam. We went over my birth plan, which she OK'd, and we put two copies in my file. I asked if I should call labor and delivery if i go into labor, and if my water breaks, and she said yes. I wanted to know if we absolutely had to go to the hospital right away if my water breaks, because I have a friend who recently had to go right back to the hospital after being sent home because her water broke when she got home. Anyway, Dr. K said that it depended on who was on duty, but that most doctors would probably confirm that my water broke, make sure the fluid was clear, and send me home if that was my preference. I would have to be induced if i didn't deliver within 48 hours, though.

Funny that I thought to ask all those questions, because that night I would need all that info. I took the bus back to work, and noticed I was having stronger cramps/contractions than usual. Actually i had been having some over the weekend and feeling not so hot too. That night, i was lying on the couch watching television, about to go to bed, when i felt something trickling out of me. There were about 4 big trickles, and i tried not to get too excited, but i wanted to go to the bathroom to see what was going on. erik was in there, so i cleaned up a little in the kitchen while waiting for him to get out. by the time i got in there, my underwear were soaking wet, and my pajama bottoms were a little damp. it didn't smell like urine.
I came out and told Erik calmly that my water had broken and we had to go to the hospital. I felt a little bummed because i knew i was going to be "on the clock" now, and that i would have the baby without my mom being here and wouldn't get to go see Michelle Kwan ice skate this weekend. But at the same time i felt excited that it seemed to be starting. We started getting last-minute things together, even though i told erik that we would probably not have to spend the night. I called labor and delivery and they told me to come in. I called my mom and woke her up. She said to call her back if they kept me at the hospital. I found myself thinking happily about the little things i had gotten done that day, like getting a plumber here to fix the garbage disposal, and having a little meeting with the biz editor at work to talk about how long i'd be gone, etc. But there were also a bunch of little things I had wanted to get done before going to the hospital, like washing the little pink pants i'd just bought to bring the monkey home from the hospital in, buying Recharge (a natural sports drink that our childbirth teacher recommended drinking while in labor), and finding some more of the Bert's Bees massage oil i like.
We got all our stuff down to the car: A suitcase, a big shopping bag full of comfort aids and snacks and drinks, my birthing ball, the car seat, two pillows. it filled up practically the whole car! By this time it was after 11 p.m. It occurred to me that the baby would probably be born on my mom's birthday, which was the next day, and that made me happy. Then I put on my "fear release" tape on the Walkman and went into hypnosis. After awhile, Erik said he needed my help figuring something out. I was like, are we there? But no, he had made a wrong turn and was LOST! I just started laughing. "You're really lucky i'm not in labor," I told him.
He figured out where he was after a few minutes. We went to the emergency parking area, just like we had been told to in our hospital tour, but all the spots were full! We found a spot on the street right outside though. We went up to the 15th floor, and the nurses remembered me from my phone call. I noticed that you don't have to be buzzed onto the labor and delivery floor like you do at my mom's hospital. In fact, the elevators are not even right in front of the nurse's station, so they seem to have no way of monitoring who comes in and out.
They sent me to give a urine sample and then put us in a triage room, where i was told to take off my bottoms and put on a gown. they put me on a fetal monitor, and erik and i had fun listening to the heartbeat and looking at the contractions marked on the strip while waiting for a Dr. to come. Eventually a resident showed up, took my temperature, put a speculum in me, and took a swab of the fluid in my vagina. She was able to tell immediately that my membranes had NOT ruptured, because if there had been amniotic fluid present the tip of her swab would have changed color. I was stunned. It had just not occured to me that all this wetness could have been anything else. But she said the cervical mucous could be surprisingly liquidy. She left to do a couple more tests on the fluid just to be sure, and when she came back, she gave me another internal exam, because Dr. Kamali had not written down how much i was dilated on my chart. or if she did, the resident couldn't find it. i was still 1.5 cm. then the resident brought in an ultrasound machine to make sure the baby was head down. She still was, of course. The resident pointed out that the baby is a small one -- her guess was 3200 grams, whereas last ultrasound i coudln't remember if they said 3200 or 3400. and i even gained a couple of pounds since that last ultrasound -- i was hoping they went to the baby, not me!
she asked if i could feel the contractions showing up on the monitor, of which there were several while i was hooked up. i said sure, but they didn't hurt. she guessed that i was in early labor and could continue to be for the next couple of days. and then we were free to go.
we went home feeling relieved and only a little foolish, since the staff was so nice and didn't act like we had been wrong for coming in. it was nice to have a dry run, anyway. when we got in after midnight i checked my email and returned a couple of messages from some security experts i'd been trying to interview in england. i figured i would go in to work the next day just to finish that story, and then call it quits. i had contractions all night, just enough to make me dream that i was in labor and to notice from time to time, but not enough to keep me awake.

We had to get up at 7 the next morning because we had an appointment with our new pediatrician. We called home and told mom about the false alarm. She wasn't too surprised, apparently it's not all that uncommon for women to think their water has broken when it really didn't. I was still having cramps and more bloody show. The pediatrician was really nice, she looks about my age, and I was happy to learn that UCSF has a drop-in clinic that you can take your baby to without an appointment, although the drawback is you are seen by residents there so it tends to take awhile.

i went to work and warned everyone that that might be my last day instead of friday. but in the early afternoon, a security story broke, so i had to work on that instead of finishing the story i came in to write. and i hadn't been able to reach one of the guys in england i needed to interview. so i said i'd probably come in the next morning, or file it from home, but then i forgot to bring home any notes, so that ruled out filing from home. my mom called at 6 and was unhappy to learn i was still at work. she wanted me to take a cab home.
but this morning, and all today, i felt much fewer contractions, and the bloody show has just about gone away. i'm thinking that all this activity was maybe caused by the internal exams i had instead of being a real sign that labor was starting. which is a relief, because i really want to go see michelle kwan, not to mention having my mom as assistant labor coach! i came home in the afternoon and lay on the couch most of the day, listening to hypnosis tapes and napping. if i feel this good tomorrow, though, i'll probably get off my butt and do some housework.

the video camera erik ordered arrived today. good thing, too, because when he tried to snap a picture of me getting ready to go to the hospital monday night, his digital camera wasn't working well. the new video camera also takes stills, so we can use that. not that i want any pictures or video of the actual event, but of course we'll want to take lots of pictures after the monkey's arrived.

Monday, April 12, 2004

38 weeks

Several friends forwarded me this article bearing very good news: Eating chocolate while pregnant is good for your baby. Thank god, because with all i've given up, there's no way i was going to give that up.

http://www.suntimes.com/output/health/cst-nws-baby08.html

We cleaned the house pretty well this weekend, since we were having a little party for our friends who are getting married Saturday night. It felt very good to get it done, so we won't have to worry about social services coming to take the baby away from our dump. But Sunday and today I have been having lotsa muscle aches, guess i might have overexerted a little. Erik did most of the hard cleaning though -- he swept and mopped the kitchen floor AND the hardwood AND cleaned the bathroom. I think he was surprised to find out how much work a thorough mopping is.

Another strange thing: Erik gave me a nice, long backrub Friday night. By the end of the workweek, my upper back usually hurts and the monkey has been kicking my rib cage again, which makes it worse. It felt great and I went to sleep feeling no back pain. But when I woke up in the morning, my back felt as if it were bruised, like i'd been beaten up instead of getting a massage! I guess my tissues are more tender than normal all over. It's a bummer because my back hurts again now and I know asking for a backrub won't necessarily make it better.

Tuesday, April 06, 2004

37 weeks

Ultrasound yesterday, and the sonographer said the baby looks fine, fine, fine. Normal size for the dates, something like 6.5 or 7 pounds. She told me the weight in grams, and i managed to remember that she said there were 480 grams in a pound but forgot whether she said the baby weight 3200 grams or 3400. Anyway, she also confirmed that our little monkey is indeed a girl. phew.

My story about commercial ultrasound businesses is on the front page tomorrow. I am still hoping to hold out till my due date, but on the other hand... wouldn't it be cool to save the newspaper from the day she was born and have mommy's story on the front page?

i have a cold :( i'm trying to rest up cause i definitely need to get over it before i go into labor. but it's getting worse.

Sunday, April 04, 2004

37 weeks

Funny thing happened today. Erik and I went to the grocery store and I was squatting down to look at the different sizes of grape jelly. I was down there for a few minutes, trying to figure out which one was a better deal, when an employee came along and said, "Ma'am, sir, is everything ok?" Maybe she thought I was going to give birth in her aisle! I was embarrassed.

Yesterday, I spent the morning with other pregnant women who were getting ultrasounds. I'm doing a story about commercial ultrasound places, so i went to one in Marin to get the color. It was funny because the photographer was there before me, but he just ignored me when I came in because he thought I was one of the customers.

The rest of the weekend we spent preparing for labor and baby. Erik finally found the Walkman that I'll use to listen to my hypnosis tapes in the car and possibly at the hospital. We went to Target and bought the few baby supplies that we didn't get as gifts or buy used -- changing pad, a few newborn t-shirts for before the cord falls off, a basket for the monkey's toys, some drinks and snacks. i also went to bed bath and beyond and bought myself a nice bath pillow and a microwavable hot pack. and we went to the grocery store today and laid in lots of snacks like jello and frozen fruit bars, some energy bars, stuff like that. besides our suitcase, i realize that we will have to fill up a shopping bag to take to the hospital with things like pillows, and the comfort measures that we'll be using at home before we go! We still don't know what the baby will wear home, although we did pick out a blanket, hat and booties that might be nice. oh and we got that special baby laundry detergent, so after we confirm it's a girl at tomorrow's ultrasound, i'll wash her 0-3 month stuff to have it ready for her.

was having a lot of cramps yesterday after working all morning, on the drive home. today not as much. but erik brought home a cold and now i've got it :( however it didn't last very long with erik, so i hope it won't with me either. meanwhile, my mom is strategizing on what to do if i go into labor early or have to get induced after the ultrasound. she's going to drop everything and fly out here if i go into labor. she said on the phone the other day, "well, some people have 37-hour labors," as in, maybe she could get here before i had the baby. i was like, gee, wouldn't that be nice? a 37-hour labor. lucky me ;)

Thursday, April 01, 2004

37 weeks (as of tomorrow)

I'm running around like crazy trying to get ready for the baby now, but I wanted to sit down and tell about my surprising doctor's appointment yesterday. But first, I have to stop and complain that I keep making typos because my fingernails are so long! Being pregnant really makes them grow, and I hate to cut them off. But of course I'll have to soon, I wouldn't want to scratch the baby. I have already scratched myself bleeding with them a couple of times because my skin has gotten so, so itchy, not just on my belly but everywhere.
Back to the point. Dr. Kamali measured me yesterday and said the monkey feels a little small, about 6 pounds, but she couldn't be sure because the baby's head was already so low in my pelvis that she wasn't sure she was measuring the whole baby. She ordered an ultrasound for Monday just to make sure that the Monkey is above the 10th percentile in size -- apparently if she's smaller than that they'll be concerned about her size and want to induce labor early. Yikes. I asked if there was anything I should be doing to help the baby grow more, or if I should continue being active. Dr. Kamali just said, "We don't even know if there's a problem yet," so there was nothing different I should be doing.
But there's more. That little thing about the baby's head being low surprised me, because she's been kicking my ribs, although come to think of it less so now than the last time I wrote. So I guess she must have dropped without my realizing it, which usually means you are 2-4 weeks from going into labor. Dr. Kamali also felt my stomach when she first came in, and said I must be having a contraction because my stomach felt hard and tight. She had to wait until it stopped to palpate the baby. I said I had been feeling some cramps but I didn't know if they were contractions or not. She asked how long I had been feeling crampy, and I said for about a week. She said she would check me for dilation when she did my group B strep test, and wanted to know if I had been leaking any fluid or had bloody show. Nope. I was surprised to hear these questions because I felt a long way from going into labor. But she didn't seem to think so.

When she did my internal, she said I was a finger dilated. Then I told her how my breasts feel lumpy, and she gave me a breast exam and said that there was no problem because they both felt kind of "ropy." "Looks like they're just preparing to make milk," she said.
So basically, with all these things, she predicted that I might go into labor early. This was totally surprising to me. I still don't feel that pregnant, and since this is my first and my mom was so late with both me and Kenny, I figured I would be late too. I know that a lot of women get told by their doctors that it could be any time and it ends up being weeks, but still. The idea that it could happen now changed my whole mindset! I was feeling like i'd have about a week after I stopped working to get really ready. Now, we're trying to prioritize what REALLY needs to be done in case she shows up soon.
Dr. Kamali just said we'd better have our car seat, which we do, and to make sure to sleep well, so i'll be rested when labor starts.
Surprisingly, I haven't been stressing that much about the baby being small. Her movements continue to be strong, so I really don't think there's anything wrong with her. Erik was only 6 pounds and change when he was born, so that doesn't sound so bad to me. But of course i will feel better after the ultrasound. I'm actually very excited about getting another ultrasound at this advanced stage -- we'll be able to confirm that it IS a girl, which i wonder about sometimes. after all she was only 18 weeks along when the first ultrasound tech told us that. and we'll be able to see if she's facing my back, ready to go.
Dr. Kamali also talked to me about eating again. I haven't gained weight in about 6 weeks, at least. 2 weeks ago Dr. Gates was not concerned about that, but this time i was 1/2 pound less than the time before, and Dr. Kamali wanted to know how much I was eating, whether I skipped breakfast, etc. I told her that my stomach had been feeling crowded so I had a smaller appetite. Today I was hungrier though -- I think the baby dropping gave me more room for eating. The strange thing is I've been craving sweets lately, and giving in to it -- from pineapple juice instead of orange, to girl scout cookies, chocolate, whatever. maybe i was craving higher calorie stuff because i didn't have room to eat much. but of course i'm feeling guilty for eating that stuff. i'm trying to do better now.

so i'm re-energized at work, after dragging my feet last week. now that i feel like i have a deadline, i want to finish my ultrasound story as soon as possible. and my to-do list is a mile long. i have to pack my bag, we need to do the final target run to get stuff we didn't get for our showers (which is only a few things!), i need to call the pediatricians a friend recommended, make mom and dad's motel reservations, get the baby bjorn, CLEAN, find the walkman for listening to my hypnosis tapes during labor, erik has to design the announcements, and on and on. yikes!

I hope i haven't gotten my body too ready for labor by listening to all these hypnosis tapes. they do have messages about your cervix opening, etc. tonight i'm downloading the "baby stay in" script. hopefully that will buy us some time!