Because I'm not working, I've been spared much of the "you're still here"??? That women get when they go post-date and try to continue their normal activities. I got it at the pool this week from the grandma of a girl in the class after mine, who had quizzed me in the locker room last week about my due date and such. But most people would not guess that I am already 9 months pregnant, since I tend to carry small, and so I walk among them unremarked upon. They have no idea that I am currently one of the most pregnant people in the United States.
Last night on our date -- which was great, despite the fact that when we walked three blocks back to our car from the movie, the temperature had fallen to 3 BELOW ZERO -- I even said to Epu, "I can't believe we're still here." Labor and delivery are so transformative that it is almost like waiting to be beamed off the planet or metamorphed into a butterfly. Of course, more so with your first child, when you turn from a regular individual young human being into a mother. But even this time, waiting to turn from a pregnant person with a toddler into a lactating woman with an infant attached to me most of the time (and a toddler, gulp), it's almost an eerie feeling. Waiting for the metamorphosis. And every day, part of that old surviving me is relieved to wake up and see that "I'm still here."
Today we get Nutmeg back from Wisconsin. Next week will be a less convenient time to have the baby, since my parents only cleared their schedule for one week for the big event. Still, part of me is also relieved that I will probably get a little more time one-on-one with my little girl, light of my life, before she, too, is transformed into one of my daughters. My older daughter. I'm excited about making that journey with her, but how could I not cry a little to think about the chapter in our lives that's ending?
We’re not going anywhere.
6 days ago
5 comments:
just the other day, i was hanging out with the paloma and reminiscing about our recent twosome past. i miss it a lot and sometimes i feel so guilty that we don't spend as much time as we used to together. but, i'm sure you and the nutmeg will adapt better and quicker than us. you guys can give us some tips! :)
I'm impressed with how well you're taking being "late". I wish I could say that I had had as much patience as you. Our thoughts are with ya. :-)
So beautifully put, as always. It seems to me that the emotional weight of life is amplified in these "tween" times, where excitement/anticipation meet fufillment/loss. Before a big move, a career change, a marriage---those are all places you feel the pull of heartstrings, for sure. But like you said, nothing tugs on you like the impending birth of a child, and speaking as someone who went late my first time around, every extra day of waiting seems to give you both a sense of heightened longing juxtaposed with a deep contentment in the present.
Give that sweet girl a squeeze for us when she gets home, and don't hesitate to call if you need anything this week.
Aw. That is so sweet. Here's to the new beginnings that come from those endings. :)
Assuming you did not give birth during the Superbowl, I think we can now safely say that you will have another natural Packers fan on your hands. Only a truly wonderful Packers baby would stay inside her momma's womb long enough for her momma and daddy watch the Bears get trounced.
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