What Do You Do All Day? Year 3

Now that I'm a mom of 2, I'm going to do another minute-by-minute breakdown of the average weekday at home. Except there is no average day. In fact, I hesitate to post this because I had about the easiest day so far yesterday. Fil slept almost all day (and, whoops, was up for almost 3 hours in the middle of the night; we'll wake her up a little more today), Nutmeg was pretty good, and we mostly stayed home after days on the go. By contrast, the day before, I dropped Nutmeg off at a sitter, drove to Oak Park with Fil to tour a school, did a couple in-car nursings and diaper changes, hit Jewel and the Cingular store with both kids, Nutmeg didn't take her nap and peed on the dining room floor, and, just as I was ready to pass out from exhaustion at 8 p.m., Fil threw up all over herself and had to be given a bath.

But here's yesterday:

1:25 a.m. Wake up to the end of "Dr. Phil" on TV. Must have fallen asleep sometime after 11:30 while/after nursing. Lay Filbertine down on back in Snuggle Nest, and she stays asleep.

? a.m. Baby wakes up and I feed her

5:50 a.m. I awake with baby sleeping in my arms in breastfeeding position. I gently lay her down in the Snuggle Nest, rearrange my bedding so that no pillows or blankets are near her, and lie down.

5:51 a.m. Baby squirms and begins sniffling and snorting. Last night it seemed like she was getting a cold so we used saline and the aspirator to clean out her nose. Now I ask Epu if he has the aspirator on his side. He says no, he must have left it in the kitchen. I ask him to go get it. He says no and goes back to sleep.

5:53 a.m. I return from kitchen with aspirator and try to hand it to Epu, who says, "I don't want that," and turns his head away. Baby is still snorting and sniffling. Persuade Epu that he does, indeed want that. Epu complains that he can't see. Less gently, suggest that Epu take baby to changing table in bathroom. Epu grumbles but complies. Yell at Epu for not closing bedroom door.

6 a.m. Sleep

7:50 a.m. Wake to sounds of Epu showering.

8 a.m. Epu brings baby back to bedroom. Breastfeed, and enjoy the silence while Nutmeg is still asleep.

8:15 a.m. Nutmeg wakes up, humming cheerily, and politely asks for water. Feel guilty for wishing she would sleep longer.

8:20 a.m. Nutmeg throws tantrum. Apparently Epu has given her an
open cup of water, which she spilled. Time out for unnecessary tantrum.

8:25 a.m. Head for bathroom. Epu tells Nutmeg he can't start her oatmeal because he will be leaving and mommy is taking a shower. I head off tantrum #2 by suggesting Epu give her a small bowl of cereal while waiting for me to finish.

8:26 a.m. Go to bathroom with door shut. Oh, merciful solitude.

8:28 a.m. Get in shower. Epu comes in to say goodbye and tells me that Nutmeg is eating cereal, Fil is awake in her Snuggle Nest.

8:45 a.m. Get out and dry off. Nutmeg reports she has helped herself to more cereal and needs milk. Pour milk.

8:50 a.m. Dress while baby watches, grunts, squirms.

8:53 a.m. Weigh in. Down about 23 pounds from pregnancy high. 15 pounds to go before Labor Day wedding, pool party and bridesmaid dress.

8:55 a.m. Pick up baby and check out email. Respond to a babysitting request from co-op, typing with one hand.

9 a.m. Feed baby. Lay sleeping baby on tummy. She stays alseep.

9:05 a.m. Turn on Oprah. Summer road trip rerun.

9:06 a.m. Make tea. Since dairy upsets the baby, try pouring coconut milk into raisin bran and tea.

9:15 a.m. Feel nervous about tummy-sleeping baby. Turn her onto back. She wakes up and squirms. Transfer to swing in kitchen.

9:17 a.m. Baby sleeping. Find Nutmeg's last pair of clean underpants and instruct her to put on. She does.

9:20 a.m. Make oatmeal with Nutmeg. Grab bites of cereal in spare moments. It's good with coconut milk.

9:25 a.m. Send Nutmeg off to get pants on.

9:26 a.m. Stand in front of Oprah drinking tea. Hot tea not good with coconut milk. Separates into fatty little particles. Gross.

9:28 a.m. Nutmeg returns with pants on, instruct to go get a shirt.

9:30 a.m. Typing this.

9:32 a.m. Nutmeg comes in with a shirt with colors that match the pants. Good girl.

9:35 a.m. Oatmeal finished. Prep for Nutmeg.

9:38 a.m. Put oatmeal on table and call Nutmeg.

9:39 a.m. Nutmeg appears sans shirt. Explains she has been "looking at movies and telling a story." Sounds fine to me. Must be the cases for the Disney VHS tapes grandparents recently gave us.

9:40 a.m. Updating this.

9:45 a.m. Unload dishwasher, quick kitchen cleanup

9:53 a.m. Take prenatal vitamin and two Tums (for calcium).

9:55 a.m. Nutmeg stops Fil's swing to give her sleeping sister a kiss. Explain gently (for millionth time) that we don't wake up the baby, even for kisses.

9:56 a.m. Nutmeg: "Close your eyes, I have a surprise for you!" Close eyes. Nutmeg: "It's meat!" Presents me with a wooden steak from her play kitchen freezer.

9:57 a.m. Coach Nutmeg on bringing her oatmeal bowl to kitchen. Then the spoon.

9:58 a.m. Send Nutmeg to wash face and brush teeth. Continue kitchen cleanup.

10 a.m. Switch TV/VCR to Channel 9 as am determined not to forget to tape "Millionaire." Good to have goals, isn't it?

10:03 a.m. Just before turning off the television, catch a talk show host named Greg saying that one of his guests has a problem: Her husband is addicted to cleaning. Ha! Ha! Ha!

10:06 a.m. Check on Nutmeg in bathroom. She has emptied my facial moisturizer and filled bottle with water.

10:07 a.m. Second time out of the day.

10:09 a.m. Send Nutmeg back to bathroom for second attempt at brushing teeth.

10:15 a.m. Check Metra schedule online because we are thinking about taking advantage of sunny day to visit an Evanston park and walk around there. Train comes in half an hour, maybe enough time to make it but probably not.

10:16 a.m. Decide to go for it. Check on Nutmeg, who is still playing in bathroom sink, and get her to brush teeth now.

10:17 a.m. Run around house gathering supplies for day out.

10:19 a.m. Help Nutmeg get shirt on and tell her to put on socks.

10:20 a.m. Change baby and put her in sling.

10:25 a.m. Help Nutmeg get shoes and coat on.

10:27 a.m. Send Nutmeg to start walking down stairs while I get on shoes and coat.

10:28 a.m. Leave house. Get stroller from garage and power walk to station with Fil in sling.

10:29 a.m. Forget to tape "Millionaire."

10:30 a.m. Realize that forgetting gloves in garage was a mistake because it is colder than it looks out.

10:48 a.m. Watch train leave without us from a block away. We really would have needed at least another 5 minutes to make it.

10:49 a.m. Suggest that we save Evanston for another day since it is cold and windy out anyway.
Nutmeg says she really wants to go to Evanston.

10:50 a.m. Turn around and convince Nutmeg that it would be fun to play in school playground while we wait for the next train.

10:54 a.m. Call cell phone company to find out if Epu's broken phone is under warranty, but give up because I don't remember his social security number and can't get the phone battery cover off to find out serial number.

11 a.m. Nutmeg reports that she doesn't like this playground. She agrees to play and go home instead of going to Evanston, and I agree to walk to a better park.

11:15 a.m. Arrive better playground. Nutmeg plays, I sit on bench and nurse.

12:05 p.m. Arrive home. Manage to fold stroller with baby in sling but leave it on the front porch.

12:08 p.m. Get Nutmeg out of her coat, she takes off her shoes.

12:09 p.m. Lay Filbertine down on playmat, where she seems to enjoy wiggling and looking. Except for nursing time, she has slept most of the day so far.

12:10 p.m. Start making hot cocoa to warm Nutmeg up.

12:12 p.m. Heat up leftover salmon and rice, and carrot soup, for my lunch.

12:13 p.m. Update blog. Check email. Nutmeg returns from going to the bathroom (unprompted) and gives me a nice hug "for being so good on our walk."

12:20 p.m. Nutmeg drinks hot cocoa, I eat and read the Tribune. Unfortunately, the lead article is a bad child abuse story, meaning I must cry a little. I tell Nutmeg the reason for my tears is a secret, which delights her.

12:41 p.m. Nutmeg decides that she, too, wants carrot soup. Heat some up for her. Baby getting restless on playmat.

12:45 p.m. Change diaper.

12:50 p.m. Nurse.

12:51 p.m. Nutmeg leaves table, soup untouched. I suggest we have a "story party" on the couch and she leaves, excited, to gather reading material.

1 p.m. Book party. We read "I Am Not Sleepy and Will Not Go to Bed," "How the Grinch Stole Christmas," "Little Star" (a Dora book) and "Trains." During story time Filbertine nurses some more and has some cuddly awake time.

1:30 p.m. Time for pre-nap stories in the bedroom. We read a couple selections from "Richard Scarry's Best Storybook Ever" in rocking chair. Fil wavers between wake and sleep.

1:40 p.m. Tell Nutmeg she can take one book to bed to read for 15 minutes before sleeping. She wants "Shamu," but I say no because it's a paper book and she's been tearing up books during naptime.

1:41 p.m. Nutmeg throws a fit. I make her get in bed with no book.

1:42 p.m. When she's calmer I give her a board book, set her egg timer for 15 minutes, and leave, taking "Shamu" with me.

1:44 p.m. Put Fil in sling and update blog. Fil falls asleep immediately.

2 p.m. Nutmeg comes to computer room to report that she read a different board book than the one I gave her, and that her alarm went off. I send her back to sleep and say I might come lie down with her in a moment.

2:05 p.m. Attempt to lay sleeping Fil down in crib in Nutmeg's room. Try to roll her out of sling gently.

2:06 p.m. Laydown attempt initially successful, but sling rollout has left baby on her tummy. After letting her settle in for a minute, attempt to roll her to side.

2:07 p.m. Baby wakes up and cries. Tell Nutmeg I can't lie down with her. Nutmeg cries.

2:12 p.m. Nutmeg still crying and yelling from bedroom.

2:13 p.m. Eat Nutmeg's leftover soup with baby on lap.

2:15 p.m. Nutmeg opens door and says she has to go potty. Request denied.

2:19 p.m. Nutmeg seems to have stopped crying. Have cup of tea and two girl scout cookies while nursing and burping baby.

2:25 Put Filbertine in swing. She watches colorful toys.

2:27: Call Cingular about Epu's phone. Find out the warranty expires TOMORROW. Whew! They arrange to send a new Razr express.

2:40 Clean kitchen while sort of watching Rachel Ray. Sad because no "Millionaire." Fil drowses in swing.

3:15 p.m. Talk to Realtor on phone while finishing kitchen cleanup. Agonize over Evanston-versus-Oak Park and discuss negotiation strategies.

3:20 p.m. Take out diaper trash, bring up laundry.

3:28 p.m. Move Fil to Snuggle Nest and start Roomba in kitchen.

3:30 p.m. Update blog.

3:34 p.m. Watch Jeopardy while folding laundry and cleaning up bedroom.

4 p.m. Continue same while news is on.

4:15 p.m. Fil wakes up and nurses, burps. Very little spit-up today! (Apparently elimination diet is working.)

4:28 p.m. E-mail and online house research while holding Fil. Find and print out new recipe for carrot and pineapple muffins. Wipe green booger off Fil's nose. Wonder if that means she has a sinus infection.

4:49 p.m. Nutmeg wakes up crying. Read her a story, "Bear's Picnic."

5: 00 p.m. Make muffins with Nutmeg with some tunes on the radio and Fil in the sling.

5:30 p.m. Put sleeping Fil in the swing.

5:45 p.m. Put muffins in oven and adjourn to living room to look up green boogers in Dr. Sears' "Baby Book" with Fil on lap. Nutmeg comes along and reads a Dora book to herself. Dr. Sears says: Don't worry about green boogers unless baby also seems sick and getting sicker. Use vaporizer at night.

5:50 p.m. My parents call so Dad can tell Nutmeg that tomorrow is the first day of spring. Mom tells me our favorite 89-year-old barkeep in Sauk County is in the nursing home with a broken hip. He broke it dancing at his annual St. Patrick's Day party. Follow Nutmeg around the house and nurse more while talking.

6:00 p.m. Return Fil to swing. Take muffins out of oven. Clean up.

6:10 p.m. Have "muffin picnic" with Nutmeg. These muffins don't stay together as well as our usual -- maybe because I subtituted half the oil with applesauce.

6:30 p.m. Listen to Marketplace on NPR. Put new batch of muffins in oven and start dinner. Try to call Epu to ask him to pick up rolls for nitrate-free chicken sausages, but it's too late, he's already left, and I have his cell phone here. Nutmeg plays with her play stove and refrigerator and runs around making noise.

6:35 Nutmeg hits me with a toy. Back to time out.

6:40 Set table. Nutmeg emerges from Daddy's workshop/office and tells me she punched a hole in their cow pinata because she wanted to get the candy out. Tell her she probably won't get any candy from it after dinner now, and close doors to workshop. She howls.

6:46 Fil wakes up. Take temperature just to be sure. It's normal. Give thermometer to Nutmeg and let her take doll's temperature.

6:48 p.m. Change diaper.

6:40 Nurse while looking at Tribune.

7:00 p.m. Finish dinner -- fried potatoes, sausages, warmed up carrot soup and spinach. Leave sausages cooking on stove.

7:05 p.m. Update blog while nursing and burping some more.

7:11 p.m. Epu comes home. Nutmeg tells him about the pinata and he checks it out, expresses disappointment in her, and tries to convince her to leave it alone until upcoming birthday party.

7:15 p.m. Ask Epu to check sausages on stove. They're black.

7:20 p.m. Eat dinner. Get lauded for getting Epu a new phone just one day before warranty ends.

7:30 p.m. Nurse baby again.

7:40 p.m. Epu and Nutmeg clean up a little and then start playing with playdough.

7:45 p.m. Give baby to Epu and clean kitchen. She stays awake for a short time on his lap.

8:00 p.m. Talk to mother-in-law on phone while doing dishes. Have some cranberry juice and vodka.

8:25 p.m. Take now sleeping baby from Epu and put her down in Snuggle Nest, on her back. Epu initiates Nutmeg bedtime procedures.

8:40 p.m. Update blog.

8:45 p.m. Call a stranger who lives in Oak Park referred to me by our Realtor and talk while picking up the house. She has kids the same age, loves Oak Park. Says it has a small town feel where people are very involved and care about one another. Block parties, checking on neighbors. She thought they would miss being in the city but they now find that they are closer to many parts of the city than they would be if they had moved to Hyde Park or North Center.


9:00 p.m. Epu finishes bedtime patrol and I fill him in on Oak park phone call. Discuss pros and cons of Oak Park.

9:05 p.m. Fil wakes up, Epu fetches at my request. Change diaper and put baby in sleepsack. Hungry baby has rare crying episode to protest diaper change instead of immediate feeding.

9:10 p.m. Nurse in front of Internet. Find out there are 9 registered sex offenders in Oak Park, including one 3 blocks from top new home choice. That's nothing; turns out there are four sex offenders within a block of us now and, in our SF zip code, over 100 sex offenders.

9:40 p.m. Put sleeping baby on back in Snuggle Nest.

9:45 p.m. Put away laundry.

10:30 p.m. Earliest bedtime since coming home from hospital!

This was a really good day for me. I even made some headway with the housework, although I wouldn't use the words "caught up." If it sounds like I watch a lot of TV, I would point out that a) Only 1 hour of it was on while Nutmeg was awake, and she was in the other room, and b) I didn't really "watch" anything, I just had a few shows on while I did housework. Also, you can assume that while all this stuff is being done, I am also carrying on a continual dialog with Nutmeg if she is within earshot, and helping her when needed -- getting her a drink, reminding her to wash her hands, picking up dropped utensils and rinsing them off, etc.