His Pants Fell Down

Yesterday the girls and I were grocery shopping when I heard a woman tell a manager, "His pants fell down." Well, you would look too, wouldn't you?

Yes indeed, there in the aisle stood a skinny man, probably over 90, with his denim shorts on the floor and his skinny legs sticking down out of a pair of boxers. The woman said she was going to help him but she thought he might be more comfortable with the male manager helping. The shopper didn't seem to have anything to say about it one way or another. I went down an aisle and when I came around again, the old man had his shorts buckled and was chatting with the manager and grinning a goofy grin.

My first thought was how sad it was that this man was walking around, a living parody of what he used to be. I pictured him my age, probably back in the '50s, coming home to his family in a suit and hat. Then again, I thought, how great that he is still doggedly seeking nourishment to keep this life thing going, and seems to be enjoying it all despite the pants problem.

The next time I saw him, he was driving one of those little carts. Apparently the manager got him the hook-up. Yikes, I thought, should this guy really be piloting this vehicle around the store? Good thing one of my children was in the cart and the other in the sling.

Then it occurred to me that this guy most likely drove a car to the store and was about to drive home. So, like, the menace of being behind the grocery store robocart, not such a big deal.

So if you are driving around Oak Park, watch out for the pants problem man.